After the excitement of your engagement, the next big step in your wedding journey is choosing your wedding party. From your maid of honour and best man to your flower girl and ring bearer, these are the special people who will be by your side on your big day. Their roles may differ, but each person plays an important part in creating the magic of your wedding.
Before you start sending out those all-important invitations to join your bridal party, you might have a few questions about the proper etiquette.
Who should you ask?
How many people should be in your wedding party?
And what are the expectations for their roles?
If these are on your mind, we’re here to help so keep reading,
Do We Need a Wedding Party?
Not at all! It’s entirely up to you whether you have a traditional wedding party or not. Modern couples often choose to forgo the bridal party altogether, which can help reduce costs and avoid any potential feelings of awkwardness or obligation. If you prefer a simpler day without the additional roles of bridesmaids, groomsmen, or even a flower girl, that’s perfectly fine.
Must We Choose a Maid of Honour or Best Man?
Just like the wedding party itself, having a maid of honour or best man isn’t compulsory. If you’re struggling to choose, or perhaps planning a smaller wedding party, you can skip these titles altogether. If you do, just make sure to share their typical responsibilities, such as planning the hen and stag dos, among your wedding party. Everyone can pitch in without needing a formal title.
How Do We Decide Who to Include?
When it comes to choosing your wedding party, it’s all about personal connections. Michelle Gainey suggests selecting people who hold a special place in your life, whether that’s friends or family. Importantly, pick those you feel completely yourself around. Your wedding day is not the time to worry about pleasing others or including someone out of obligation. Choose those who will support you and share in your happiness.
Does My Sibling Have to Be My Maid of Honour or Best Man?
There’s no rule that says your sibling must fill these roles. If you’re not particularly close, don’t feel pressured to make them your maid of honour or best man just because they’re family. It’s perfectly fine to choose a friend instead. Alternatively, if you want to include your sibling in a special way, consider giving them a unique task or a standout role, such as a different bouquet or boutonnière, or a seat of honour at the head table.
Can My Child Be My Maid of Honour or Best Man?
Absolutely! If you have a son or daughter, they can certainly take on these roles. However, it does depend on their age. Younger children may find it tricky to handle the duties that come with being a maid of honour or best man, so consider assigning an older friend to assist them, making it a joint role. This way, your child can be involved in a meaningful way without the pressure.
Can We Have More Than One Maid of Honour or Best Man?
Yes, you can! If you have multiple close friends or siblings and simply can’t choose, having more than one maid of honour or best man is a great option. Just remember to split the responsibilities between them to ensure everything runs smoothly on the day. As for their speeches, they can either deliver them separately or combine their efforts into one.
Should My Future Spouse’s Siblings Be Part of My Wedding Party?
It’s always a thoughtful gesture to include your future in-laws in your wedding party, especially if they’re close to you. However, if you’re planning a smaller group, don’t feel obligated. You could always offer them another role, such as an usher or having them give a reading during the ceremony, so they still feel included.
How Many People Should Be in Our Wedding Party?
The size of your wedding party is completely your decision. The average is around four people on each side, but this can vary based on the scale of your wedding. If you’re hosting a smaller, more intimate affair, a large wedding party may feel out of place. Focus on choosing people who are most important to you, and don’t worry about numbers.
Do the Bridal Party and Groomsmen Need to Be Equal in Number?
No, symmetry isn’t a requirement! If your bridal party and groomsmen are uneven, that’s perfectly fine. There are many ways to manage the processional and recessional, such as having some people walk alone or pairing up two from one side.
Can We Have a Mixed-Gender Wedding Party?
Absolutely. There are no rules against having a mixed-gender wedding party. Whether it’s your brother standing beside you as part of your bridal party or your groom having his best female friend as a groomswoman, go ahead and include the people who matter most to you.
Should We Include Junior Bridesmaids or Groomsmen?
If you have younger relatives or close family friends aged between eight and 16, it’s a lovely way to involve them by giving them the role of junior bridesmaid or groomsman. However, it’s not a must. Only include them if you feel it’s right for your wedding.
What’s the Best Age for Flower Girls and Ring Bearers?
Flower girls and ring bearers are typically between the ages of four and seven. If they’re younger, they may struggle with walking down the aisle or feel shy, while older children can be promoted to junior bridesmaids or ushers. If you have multiple flower girls and ring bearers, consider having the older ones assist the younger ones during the processional.
When Should We Ask People to Be in Our Wedding Party?
It’s best to ask your wedding party eight to 12 months before the big day. This gives them plenty of time to prepare and get involved in the pre-wedding festivities. However, if your engagement is shorter, aim to give them at least five months' notice.
What Expenses Should Our Wedding Party Cover?
Traditionally, your wedding party is responsible for covering the costs of their attire, travel, and accommodation. You may also ask them to contribute to events like the hen or stag do. However, it’s good etiquette to cover the costs of their bouquets or boutonnières, transport on the day, meals, and professional hair and makeup if you’ve organised it.
Do We Need to Give Our Wedding Party a Plus-One?
If your bridesmaids and groomsmen are travelling for your wedding or going above and beyond to help, it’s considerate to offer them a plus-one. But if you’re hosting a more intimate celebration or are mindful of your budget, it’s also okay to forgo plus-ones, as long as you apply the same rule to everyone.
How Much is Too Much to Ask of Our Wedding Party?
As a rule, don’t ask your wedding party to do anything you wouldn’t be willing to do yourself. Their role is to support you, but that doesn’t mean they should be burdened with tasks that feel overwhelming. If a particular job feels too big, consider asking your wedding planner instead of your bridal party.
At UK Flower Girl Boutique, we believe that whether you have a full wedding party or just a select few, your day should reflect the love and joy you feel for each other. Whether you're choosing your flower girls or deciding who will be your maid of honour, let it be a reflection of your closest relationships.